Monday, February 8, 2021

2021 Is Looking Like... Change.


Change is good. 
via Tenor

Welp... here we are in the second month of the year, and I am already sort of excited about the changes happening in my life. 

It would seem that yer grrrl is getting to step outside her box a bit-- step, hell. I'm obliterating the box. I am stopping the thinking about freaking boxes. What box, where?

I ain't see no box...
via GfyCat

Just accepting more collabs outside the vein of the body of work that I am known for (FINALLY) is freeing up so much energy...and notice is starting to be taken. I'm humbled, happy, and surprised at the same time.  And I am so ready to work.


I believe that this is a year of transformation, of shaping into another form closer to what I was meant to be. I'm embracing it. After all: nobody got anywhere by standing still and being stagnant. You do the same things over and over, you remain where you are. 

Big Peach Energy.
via tumblr

I am at the start of a new journey. It couldn't have come at a better time. And I am finding that there are things that I don't really need to achieve in order to be happy about where my life is. I'm living in gratitude for all that I do have, and for the people who had my six the whole time. 2020 was not the usual grind for us here Lairside, but we did bloom where we were planted. And we are all alive, healthy (as far as we know), and still doing the family thing. It's not always heavenly wine and roses, but I think that we are trying to sort out our priorities, things are aligning, and I'm just taking the ride and enjoying the scenery.

Well. This looks fun.
via GfyCat

This time next year, I hope to see more growth. I hope to continue creating, to have fun, and be as satisfied as I can be...which is saying something for a Virgo.

You knew it was coming.
(Yes, another Hamilton gif. Shut it.)
via tumblr

Sunday, January 3, 2021

Back Again So Soon, G? ...Yup.


Pretty accurate description of arriving in 2021 from 2020.
(via GIPHY)

Happy New Year!

Welp-- we made it out of the absolute shxtstorm that was 2020! How do you feel? I hope you're feeling optimistic. I also hope (obvi) that you are safe and healthy.

I'm of the mind that if we can survive 2020, we can probably get through nearly any challenge. We lost so many this year to the novel coronavirus, to violence, to just plain stupid shxt. It has been a trying year financially, especially for those of us in the entertainment industry. This is where learning to adapt and shift has come in most handy. We've tried to find new ways to bring income down as we cannot do live shows right now (even though I would love to do drive-in shows). We've livestreamed and been part of virtual cons, which were all fun!

I can only hope that 2021 is a better year; I sincerely hope that we don't regress into like, the zombie apocalypse everyone seems to think is coming. For one thing, I haven't trained hard enough yet, LOL.

Now, this... I trained for.
(via GIPHY)

The end of 2020 was interesting as I had featured on two projects with The Real Mike Wilson by then and I'd released a holiday single, something I'd always wanted to do, but hadn't done before! I'm glad I did. Have you heard it yet? Yeh-- I know the holidays are over, but there's stil Dia de Los Tres Reyes and this is still kinda appropriate... check it out:

I'm going to do whatever I can to make 2021 be a great year as well. For starters, I have a thing coming up that my tracks have been selected for, and I can't wait to see how this is going to turn out. I'm excited.

What are your plans for 2021? If you don't have any, that's fine-- sometimes plans don't work exactly like you'd hoped. 2020 definitely drilled that lesson home. It's about having to navigate the flow of things, not just going constantly with the flow. 

Here's to navigating!

Friday, November 27, 2020

Clowdermas-- And A Recipe!

I know. "Bxtch, you don't blog." 

I come bearing gifts this time, but first: a story.

It's gonna be good.
(via Tenor)

About three years ago I had a sudden burst of crazy to just put a whole holiday dinner on a bun. I figured it would be a fun way to have holiday dinner if we couldn't get to my dad's like we usually did or if I didn't feel like doing a full on dinner, or if, like it once happened before, our oven conked, and only the range or an applicance was all we had left to cook on. 

I tried to come up with the best parts of the dinner: what stood out when I made a full dinner? I tried to think of the big flavours.

I wrote it down, and never got to use it.

Until yesterday.

And it was--thankfully-- a hit. They already want this to be a full-on tradition--even had the noive to ask for it for Yule next month! 

One of my Elder Cubs killed theirs in two minutes flat and came back for another, Everyone said they liked it, even my finicky, persnickety youngest, who said it was "weird, but I give it infinite stars out of ten." 

I don't think I can ask for better than that.

Side Mission, to add some backstory:

Okay, Kylo, damn--relax!
(via GIPHY)

Last year, I made the decision to put my own spin on Thanxgiving as a holiday, should we observe it at Tha Cat Lair. I had written a whole IG story about our usual approach to the holiday, stating that we didn't really go all "YAY, THANXGIVING" about it. The day just seemed like an excuse to gather and be with those we loved, we ate dinner, we didn't really observe the traditional version of it like I guess most families are expected to. It could just as easily have been a Sunday dinner like some families are wont to do.

So, this year, we were bound by the guidelines of the 10 day unenforced lockdown in Newark and the fact that my stepmother basically cancelled the usual dinner at theirs because

...well, you know.
(via GIPHY)

And, whilst scrolling through my IG feed, a very wise young woman called Tha Conjuress, via one of her super enlightening posts, reminded me of what I'd said the year before.

She actually wrote something yesterday that nailed the sentiment as well. But I digress...

What I'd said was: " I would rather start my own tradition on the last Thursday of November than perpetuate the untruth or be angry every year. I would rather make something better. So I will."

Enter "Clowdermas". 

Our official Holiday greeting.
(design by NaughtyKittyWorld)

I've called it "Clowdermas" in honour of our family: basically "The Sacred Gathering of Cats". 😹 Whilst the majority will be celebrating Thanxgiving, we'll be going "Blessed Clowdermas"! It might seem pretentious to some-- I got a lot of Festivus jokes from people, up to and including Peace (which I told him to stop because I am not a Seinfeld fan, sorry not sorry)-- but this is not the first time I've done a holiday dinner differently. I seem to recall a celebration a long time ago where none of my blood family were involved and it was just my boyfriend at the time and a bunch of our tribe. We even tried to make some traditions. 

Besides, if yawl can go round with effing "Galentine's Day" and "Friendsgiving", my clowder can have Clowdermas. Bai.


Back to the recipe for... The Clowdermas Dinner Burger!

This is my Eldest Cub's assembled burger. Note the wild Grrrl Cub photobombing in the background.

I pretty much eyeballed the whole thing so I don't have exact measurements. Everything is to taste.

I plan to tweak this recipe as I go along.

You'll need:

-Brioche buns

-Sharp cheddar slices

-a large tub of ground turkey. Yes-- it must be turkey, because you're going for the taste of a turkey dinner.

-Poultry seasoning, or Bell's Seasoning



-Minced Onion



(any of these are optional. Use whatever you would to season your normal turkey)

-Whole berry cranberry sauce, whatever brand you choose. We like Ocean Spray. Some of the clowder used jellied, so that's okay, too. If you make your own cranberry dressing, nada wrong with that either!

-Stuffing mix or whatever stuffing you make. We used Stove Top.

For the Spread:

-Sweet potatoes. We used canned, but I don't see why you cannot use fresh ones, or even yams. In fact, yams was the original plan but I didn't want to use that big-assed can of yams I had in the pantry.

-Heinz 57 Sauce.

-Miracle Whip. Now, I know everyone doesn't like Miracle Whip, but it's a staple Lairside. You can sub regular mayo here, it just won't be as zesty.



-Ground Ginger

Prepare your stuffing according to package directions or however you make stuffing. Set aside.

Open up your cranberry sauce. If you like it chilled, chill before opening.

Mix the turkey and the spices together in a bowl by hand or with a spoon.

Form your burgers and cook as you would a burger till cooked through.

For your spread, blend or mix together the sweet potatoes, the Heinz 57, and the Miracle Whip with the spices until smooth.

Spread the... spread on the bun, and add your burger, cheddar, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and there you are.

It's a bunch of flavours that on paper, you'd think might not work, but if you think about the usual holiday fare... you know it will!

The recipe will prolly have changed by the next time I try it so I'll let you know how those variations come out. If you try this, please take pics and let me know how you liked it...and pls let people know where you got it from!

Tuesday, April 21, 2020

I Admit It. I Have To Do Better.

Sorry, yawl.
(via GIPHY)

I don't know why it is so difficult for me to keep up with my blog. I find myself apologising to you lot more often than not. I'm sorry I haven't been active, and I will try to do better with this.

I. Can't. Even.
(via GfyCat)

Things have seemingly gone to shxt, haven't they? Life as we knew it has become something entirely different. You're locked down in the house. Any plans you had are suddenly up in the air or obliterated. None of the days feel like what they are (every day feels like Sunday to me). Nothing is certain-- not that things were before, but this really is a take-it-day-by-day situation. Moment-by-moment, even. This is how I've had to handle things.

I'm good.
(via GIPHY)

It hasn't been that difficult for me, the lockdown, and I can thank my only-child upbringing for that. I've baked bread, written lyrics, worked on a novel, updated my website, taken some (or started taking some) courses, made plans on how to best utilise my time, and just practised gratitude. I had been doing that in some form or fash anyway, but I have been doing it even more as of late. I really am grateful that I have this crazy clowder, who I love dearly.

I have also been taking more time to chat with my ancestors when I pray. I've begun living my life knowing that they are behind me, beside me, in front of me. I thank them for their contributions and for guiding me every day.

I have also been reading a lot. I can always turn to that when I have nothing else to do. It's one of my favourite pastimes anyway, but I know that if I don't have power, I can always find a flashlight and dig into a book.

It hasn't always been easy-- life still throws challenges at you (Peace broke my Sekhmet's arm off, our property management is being kind of a...pain, where the hell are eggs when you want them, the rum's gone) -- but it's also sent some bright spots (I'll be gifted another Sekhmet, someone gave us some eggs, people have been very generous, I went live on Instagram with one of my homies and did some songs). You take the bitter with the sweet, I suppose.

Yesterday, things finally came to a head for a situation in my life, and I am still reeling from that. I can only hope that this means I can make a way forward unfettered. Hoist my colours and bring me that horizon.

(via GIPHY)

I hope that, despite the fact that I cannot seem to stay blogging or sending a regular newsletter, you will continue to stick by me, GNOtaku. It seems that the wind is changing.

Friday, October 18, 2019

You Shall Not Pass

I was just told I have too many negative people in my space.

I was also told I focus too much on the haters around me.

I think what I have is too many people who don't get me in my space...or on the fringes of my space.

In some ways, they are almost as bad as the negative people (who are also on the fringes of my space).

If you don't know me or get me, please wait before you try to judge me. This applies to even those who think they know me best. Don't assume you understand my methods of coping or existing, and don't apply your template for thinking to any of it.

You really don't. (via GIPHY)

You see too much focus; I see me marking my fxcking perimeter and closing it off and putting up warning signs. I see barbed wire and a circle of salt, and a "YOU ARE SEEN. YOU ARE NOT WELCOME HERE IF YOU HAVE COME TO WREAK HAVOC."

Yeh... bai. (via GIPHY)

You see me "responding" to negativity; I see me declaring who I am to the world and the Universe, and not backing down from my statement.

Completely ignoring the presence of those who come for you--I mean, REALLY come for you-- is not positive. It is setting yourself up for a possible problem, and I will not abide.

Do you leave your home unlocked when you see the wrong people about? Do you ignore them and keep on as you were with the windows up exposing all your valuables? No, you put up security. You install an alarm or a deterrent. You let people know that you are at home. what I'm about. Letting that element know, if and when they try to come for me, that I am at home and that alarm is on and they will NOT pass...and they will regret if they try.

He was polite about it. (via GIPHY)

If I talk about it, it is to raise awareness of it being there. Not lamentation...and not acceptance.

Once you realise this--and the fact that everyone's experience is relative to them--we'll get on just fine. Invalidating by saying "If I did that..." or something similar is not going to help anything.

TLDR: Get off your assumptions about people and find out the truth instead. My experience and methods ain't yours.

...aaaaand I'm out. (via GIPHY)

Wednesday, February 6, 2019

This. Stops. NOW.

GTFO. Bye.
I have been systematically removing all that is not best for my growth or that no longer serves as a positive force in my life--people, places, things, and ideas. Not things that might be challenging or uncomfortable, but shxt that is straight toxic.

Predators posing as house pets. People who say things that cause me to doubt and/or question my own power, or cause me to feel bad about myself--even if they are family. Dismissive, self-important/self-centered people. People who project their own negative beliefs ("I'm old/getting old/too old to change, learn, do something, or better myself" i.e.: "I'm set in my ways so fxck dat") onto myself and others. People who insult me in the guise of humour, or who insult me and then try to clean it up with flattery (like that makes it better. Making someone you care about feel like shxt isn't funny, cute, or constructive--it's poisonous).
Oh, really? You gotta go.

Stagnant energy, anything that hinders, including my and other people's harmful careless thoughts and beliefs. This is up to and including the use of the old name, because if I asked that it not be used and people keep doing so, or refuse to respect my wish to address me by my TRUE name for the sake of their or another's convenience, I take that as they wish me ill or they wan fi test me, and those people have NO place in my life.

Oh, HELL no...👏you. 👏Gotta. 👏GEAUX.

Thoughts are things; words carry energy...and I will not allow that dead-body energy around me. The old name carries that sort of energy. Those limiting beliefs have that sort of energy. Any and all of that needs to go. I have tolerated these, whether they be people, places, or things for too long, and I refuse to allow it in my life anymore. 5D>3D.

No more going along to get along, because that seemed to lead to trouble every time I did it (The TestosterXONE, NCC, certain business deals and purrsonal relationships). No more tolerating  abusive behaviour disguised as "it's just business". No more allowing people to use me or others around me. I will trust my intuition, and yeet this stuff away from me and mine. If it even smells slightly deadly, it's gotta go.


I used to have a three-strikes rule, which got whittled down to one-strike reeeeeal quick once I learnt I was better than that. I used to give second and third chances. I stopped doing that years ago. Realising that I was in relationships with two malignant narcs and friends with narcs--that I was RAISED by narcs-- has FINALLY taught me to guard my energy from ANYONE who even vaguely looks like they are coming for it. I will 👏cut. 👏You. 👏OFF.✂

I'm not giving anyone a gun to try to shoot me again because they missed me the first time. "Fxck" and "that"--in that order. I believe in ✂cutting✂ the tumours out, now. I won't live with the disease anymore; it's gotta get cured.

Yeet again. (Another one I had to make but I didn't save the first one. Oops. via GIPHY)

Tuesday, January 8, 2019

Public Service Announcement

via Board of Wisdom


You can't simultaneously be supportive and dismissive of an artist.

If you approach an artist verbally about your interest in them and say you will follow up...


The ball is in your court. Don't wait for the artist to come to you. You expressed interest. If you fail to follow up we will just move on, much as you would if the roles were reversed. You can't even be mad if an artist complains about your lack of professionalism.

via Giphy

On the other side of that coin...artists, if you approach these people verbally and say you will contact them, do so. You went to them. Follow through. It's okay to pitch yourself to blogs and publications. How else will they know you? It is also okay to make yourself so known they come to you.

When an artist complains once in awhile about not getting the recognition they know they actually (read: not think they do) deserve when they have been grinding forever and walking their talk, it's not always entitlement. It's reality, because people out here still treating the entertainment like they mean nothing, and the first people to bxtch about our unrest are the promoters who do their damndest to milk every indie artist for their hard earned money.

Promoters be like:
(via Giphy)

Pay you just to be on your obscure radio show or podcast? No.

Pay you hundreds to be in a slot on a tour or so-called "industry showcase" that might not even be at a time when people see me? Nope.

Pay you to perform for less than ten minutes at a glorified block party? Fxck dat shxt.

Pay you for an interview in a magazine that pretty much was printed on your HP Envy and left in the corner of a bodega window and call it distribution? Really?!

No, you're right--nobody owes us anything... but for just being human and alive we deserve respect...until we prove otherwise.

We do have the right to vent our frustration. If you take offence, you are probably guilty.

It's prolly you.
(via Giphy)