Black Girls are Easy...

... evidently--to mistake for one another.
Especially if we're "weird"or "alternative".
Someone said I "looked exactly like [Tamara of] I Puke Glamour" and then snarkily added "Hmmmmm", regarding my assertion to accept no imitations (which really was a disclaimer for people to distinguish me from a particular... person).

C'mon, dude. I mean, I'm how much darker than she--?
 It got me thinking, though, about how when black girls have coloured hair, awesome, unusual clothes, and express themselves in a different way than what is expected, suddenly we're all Lil Kim or Nicki Minaj, or George Clinton-- anyone but who we actually are. Or we're intentionally twinning ourselves if we have similar hair. In my case, I do actually have a fax, but I've only ever been influenced by what I see.

It's unfortunate, but no other race accuses each other of "trying to be like (fill in the blank)" or "the fake (fill in the blank)"more than black people. I mean, c'mon: non-black girls wear synthetic dreads and straight fringe in all the colours of the fxcking rainbow all the time, and they don't get accused of trying to be, say, Kerli, or Machine Sex or Lady Gaga or whatever. I do it, and I'm suddenly Bitchface/Tamara/I Puke Glamour, I'm Yo-Yo Suicide, and the people I mentioned above--Minaj, Kim, and Uncle George (who, by the way, doesn't have the coloured hair anymore, so I say this to you: :oP). I have big "normie" hair, then I'm Tina Turner, Chaka Khan, Patti Labelle.

Seriously?
Is that really the best we can manage, in lieu of just taking me as I look--does everything have to be identified with someone famous? Last I checked, my name was GATA, not any of the above. Nor am I "George Clinton's wife/granddaughter/whatever".
Yes, that actually happened. More than once, and once from a band on stage performing at the time.
There is a huge difference between imitating and being influenced.
I've been influenced by people from the eighties like Cyndi Lauper, Jody Watley, Eighties Prince and Eighties Madonna (important to say "eighties" because they reinvent themselves so often), hip-hop culture, geek culture, movies, books, subcultures, video games, Japanese street style, mangas, comics, and God knows what else. I'm one of those people who throw stuff together, make it coordinate somehow, and hope it sticks. For as long as I've been able to choose my own clothes, I've been that type. I always expressed myself through my gear, long before Minaj, Gaga, Kim. I used to colour streaks in my hair with eyeshadow and rip up my stockings, cut my tees, slaughter my pants, shop at thrift stores. I was making jewelry out of baby shower favours, doll furniture, and discarded pieces of other jewelry (waste not, want not). I would find a place between eclectic and "me", and that's where I was comfortable.
This always got reactions like this

Or this

Or this

And a lot of this.

Once in awhile it was strange, but nice, to get this...

I still get these reactions. I pretty much expect it. It's one of the perks of being meows truly.

Anyways...
Unless someone is doing this

to their fellow so-called "weird", "alternative" black chyck, or doing everything like this

constantly (::ahem::) , then I don't see how we're all running around trying to be like each other (or celebrities). It must be some odd offshoot of "(fill in the blank) people all look alike". Generalizations; blanket statements. Ignorance. Indifference. Not thinking.
It would be nice to wake up one day and live in a world where this doesn't happen. Where I don't get, "Who you s'posed to be?" Me, duh. I can't be anyone but me, a living mash-up of stuff I really like. And I do it organically. It's something that can't be helped, I'm afraid.
Try and see each person for who they are, rather than think they're just cloning someone else.
Unless, of course, they actually are--and it's blatantly obvious.
Knock yourself out, then, LOL.

On Being "Tawdry" and "Offputting"...

I got a review once from The Daily Vault that resulted in an A- (not too shabby). To this day, I think the reviewer was the only one who really got me musically, and I was SO happy and relieved about that, even though my brother wasn't as appreciative of what was said about the production of GATA City. (TBH, I don't think it sounded as "homegrown" as we were told in the article.) I think this will be remedied in future projects; but we've heard quite a few favourable comments from others (including, but not limited to people in radio) about the production, so I just chalk it up to "this shxt ain't for everybody". I mean, considering what passes for "the sound" nowadays... if this is what is considered "chique", then, I'll stay sounding "homespun", thank you very much, LOL.

The review also said this:

An integral part of [Tha]Gata Negrra’s image is her weirdness, which can seem a bit tawdry and offputting. Her music, however, is anything but. Gata Negrra might like to be... an anime character that wears gaudy clothes and makeup, but GATA City is an ordinary mainstream pop album – an enjoyable and a great mainstream pop album.
Huh. Okay.
I'm guessing the reviewer has never been to Japan. Or watched an anime. I could be wrong.
At the time, I wasn't quite offended; I've been getting that "OMG whatthehellisthat" reaction all my life, so it isn't new to me. I did bristle a bit at "tawdry" and "gaudy", which are usually pretty negative words:

taw·dry- adjective \ˈtȯ-drē, ˈtä-\ : cheap and gaudy in appearance or quality; also : ignoble <a tawdry attempt to smear his opponent> noun: cheap showy finery


gau·dy-  adjective \ˈgȯ-dē, ˈgä-\
1: ostentatiously or tastelessly ornamented
2: marked by extravagance or sometimes tasteless showiness : outlandish <gaudy lies> <gaudy claims>;
also :exceptional <a gaudy batting average>
Note that "gaudy" is actually used as a synonym for "tawdry".
Those words are just more shorthand for "We don't get it". Or, "We can't wrap our eyes around it. It's too much."
Okay. I'll buy that for a dollar. Like I said: it's nada new.
I was talking with someone I know who works for a prominent indie label and, in general, likes my look/brand, and he likened me to a fire hose...in that, when the audience comes to drink, instead of giving them a water fountain trickle, I visually give them a faceful of high-jet water. I thought it was funny, actually. And not por nada: it's kind of the point.
The odd bit is that this guy, who I respect and admire immensely and love him to death, actually suggested that I strip down--like a LOT--and give you guys the full-jet later (and yet, he loves and promotes people like Kerli, Lady Gaga, and Nicki Minaj and Madonna). I didn't immediately object--I mean, this guy is who he is for a reason-- but it would be, I dunno, untrue to me. I don't like giving people the untruth. I want to give you the full truth. I don't mean truth as in shedding all of the clothes and barrettes and adornments. Those are just amplification. I mean, if everyone wanted truth, we'd all be running around naked, no?
I mean full truth as in giving you the whole ThaGataNegrra experience. And that is what people come to see me for. You didn't come to see me sans synthlox extensions, sans clothes, sans the..."explosive" version of me. You didn't come to see me be "normal". You weren't attracted to me because I'm freaking "normal".

You came because you saw me flying my freak flag, didn't you?

You came because you saw that it isn't some chyck making play she's so unusual (yes, that is indeed an intentional Cyndi Lauper reference) like some artists you might see out there...you saw that it is coming from a place where genuine "weirdness" is rampant. You've either visited that place or wanted to visit that place, or wanted to know what that place looked like before you went there.
That's what I represent.
And if I came to you with my natural coily hair as it is now, in blue jeans and a fxcking plain black t-shirt and tried to sell you the Meowness, you. Would. Not. Buy it. Period.

I will say that when I was younger, all the way up to where I am now, I have expressed myself differently than that of my peers, even if I had on the same outfit (or elements of the same outfit), I must have carried it differently than they. I've seen people look at old pics of me and say, "You didn't look weird at all!" No, not to them in the picture. But, if you were walking down street with me at the time it was taken, in that outfit, you'd have heard a whole bunch of taunts thrown at me. I never got that. Still don't. But it is what it is.
Back then, it was: "THIS bxtch..." now it's: "THIS bxtch is walking through the supermarket with ma-fxckin' CAT ears on."
I do that because it's true for me now. That--walking through the supermarket with ma-fxckin' cat ears on-- is. MY. TRUTH. And I would be less than respectful of me-- of you, even-- if I didn't do that.
I just took a course that advised the very thing that I am already doing. I was pleasantly surprised to hear this. And I'm proud of the fact that I've already got "it". One less thing for me to learn.

I was recently reminded that for some reason Cyndi Lauper was a big influence on me. That I loved the look that Prince and all his proteges touted in the Revolution and New Power Generation eras. That it was all about shell-toe Adidas. That I wanted violet and white hair. That I had an affinity for and with cats. That I used to want to be like the characters from Battle of the Planets/Gatchaman. That I was a lot like Yuri from The Dirty Pair (Adam Warren version). That I once got teased for looking like "a reject from the X-Men" (which I thought was so funny...).
It certainly explains a lot about me.

If you notice the last part of the definition for gaudy, it says: "exceptional".
"EX-CEP-TION-AL".

ex·cep·tion·al (ikˈsepSHənəl)adj.
1. Being an exception; uncommon.
2. Well above average; extraordinary: an exceptional memory.
3. Deviating widely from a norm.
I can take that.

So, when I got the link to the review from The Daily Vault, it was accompanied by an email from the writer. In it, he expressed the fact that he loved what I was doing, to keep up the good work, and signed it, "Your fan from Canada".

In the end...still expressed being a fan. I was humbled.

That is what being true to who you are can get you. It takes longer, but it's worth it.

Skull/Crossbones...

I was watching Janet being interviewed by Piers Morgan and he was commenting on her skulls jewelry. I kinda rolled my eyes because I'm often critcised for wearing skull and crossbones motif. Janet had her reasons, and I have mine, which I am about to share.
The skull represents a few things to me. One, it reminds me of remaining empty. I don't mean "empty" in a bubbleairhead sense. I mean "empty" in the sense that you cannot fill what is already full. How can you learn when you know everything? They remind me to be open.
Another thing they represent to me is death, obviously (again, empty) but with the promise of rebirth, like winter into spring. With decay will eventually come growth. Things die and are reborn.
The big thing they represent to me is pirates. Yup--I said it-- pirates. Bear with me...
Thievery, scurvy, and killing aside, pirates that we were told stories about were cunning, clever and creative when they had to be. They knew how to beat the system that doomed many to fail. They took chances and went against the grain. They were the outcasts, the ragtag bunch that people looked down upon, and pulled themselves up and did what they had to do. It may not always have been right, but they did SOMETHING.
They took destiny into their own hands and they made something happen. They made a society for themselves.

They had the skull and crossbones to show they were dangerous and deadly...but to me it represents freedom. Once you decide to grab your destiny and change your life, go against everything you were taught and programmed, to stop waiting for someone to help you and you just DIY--as far as I am concerned, you, my friend, are a pirate. Yo-freakin'-ho.
The minute you decide to not have your life dictated to you and to live it as you see fit no matter who likes it, you have joined the ranx of piracy...just not in the sense that you are stealing and wreaking havoc.
Or maybe you are.
Maybe you're stealing your life back. Maybe you're wreaking havoc on a suffocating system that wants you to die and would chew you up and spit you out and have your guts for garters. Maybe you are making the best waves, and sailing them for all they are worth. If this is you, my pirate hat's off to you.
So...that's why I wear 'em...that's what they mean to me.
Sorry for the lack of eloquence on this-- I was just jotting down a random thought...

Yes--I Know What It Means...Duh.

I was asked why the word "otaku" was used in "GataNegrraotaku", when the meaning is derogatory-- especially in Japan, and when Westerners use it ignorant of its meaning. Well, frankly... I wasn't the one who came up w/it entirely; it was kind of an inside joke.

The fan group founder (who, by the way, is Japanese) and I were sitting around shooting the shxt and talking about how Adam Warren had used that word in an issue of Dirty Pair where there was a Dirty Pair convention, calling the fans KYOtaku. We thought that was funny, since "otaku" is the honorific for house, but in Japan it means basically, you have such an obsession, hobby, or whatever that you don't leave your house... and therefore you are kind of a loser. We thought that it was cute how Western kids were trying to reclaim it as a positive thing, tho' if you went to Japan, they would prolly laugh your ass right out of the building or shake their heads in reproach and pity at the stupid "gaijin" (or "kokujin" in my case). At first we were using it in conjunction w/another project I was involved in (and thank God/dess I'm not anymore), but later just used it for me. We knew full well what we were doing. We figured that the fans I did have were totally in the closet, and prolly on the DL...there seemed to be so few of them. We imagined guys eating ramen and checking out gore shots of me and fun indie movies, buying pics, watching my lipsynchs, etc., and possibly never leaving the house. Ever. Why? Because it wasn't cule to be a fan of ThaGataNegrra for various reasons (she's fat, she's weird, she's crazy, she's lame; pick one and go w/it). Why even show your face? So, we also decided to claim it in irony. We thought the very idea was hilarious.

On the GNOtaku page on my former site, I just simplified the "dictionary" meaning: "Japanese colloquial term meaning 'obsessed fan' (which is what they said in the Dirty Pair mag, I might add); formerly used in a pejorative manner, but now accepted amongst otaku in an attempt to claim it in a positive light." Which is true, especially here. We also reasoned that there were people who were proud to be GNOtaku, that it was cule to be uncule, and basically nerds rule the world because w/o them I wouldn't be writing a blog on a computer that runs on electricity, now would I? W/o nerds, we'd be in the stone age, and totally not entertained at all. Geeks, nerds, and yes, otaku are good things. Who wouldn't be proud? But who'd admit it? Very few people...which is why the first GNOtaku slogan was "The Few and Proud", also a joke and homage to the Marines, LOL. We had a contest recently to change it because, hello? Trademark infringement much? LOL...

We absolutely knew what we were doing, believe me. I still think it's a funny, albeit true, joke. I am uncule...and to a lot of people, that makes me very cule because I choose to be who I am. The same can't be said for many people: I have been told by such folx I'm brave and whatnot for doing so; that I have balls. W'ever. I'm not trying to go out of my way to do it...never did. I just was/am that way. It's not a big deal.

So...the name GataNegrraotaku sticks. I'm not trying to insult anyone. In a way it's self-deprecating; in another it's saying "fxck you-- I'm fxcking proud to be lame!" Either way, I think I'll keep it.
Besides...it rolls off the tongue so nicely! (~_^)