My Current Holy Grail For My Natural Hair

Underneath my loc extensions (and NO, not the type you see all the time as the current protective style being worn by like, EVERYONE)...I actually DO have hair. It's not this ::snap:: short, it's not down my back, but it does exist. It is a ball of fine, dense, fragile, low-porosity, mostly-4a-some-3c rebellion, but I am learning to love it. When I am out of lox for as little as 3 weeks to as much as 4 months (my last stretch), I coddle it and try to keep it healthy. It frustrates me--mainly its shrinkage is what does it to me, but the ends being old are a pain in the ass, too. Any natural-haired coily lady will tell you that she has her own struggles with her tresses.

Okay, granted--it's Merida, but her hair is crazy. Look at it. LOOK AT IT.

I had a setback where I cut off too much hair. I thought my dry, old ends were all split and grody, but that wasn't the case! They really just needed more love and care because they were old. If I hadn't cut, it would be much longer now than it is currently. To add insult to injury... my hair has been longer on one side for much of my life, so cutting it made it sooooo much worse. I had something like eighteen inches that got cut back to more like, sixteen and fourteen. Ugh. It also suffered thinning, thanx to some med I was on. I'm glad I've gained much of it back, mostly due to good care and partially due to a supplement I inadvertently started taking. I firmly believe that it has strengthened my hair; it even feels different when I touch it. I've been enjoying the journey and resisting the temptation to go back to a texturiser to avoid the SSKs (single-strand knots for the uninitiated) and the shrinkage. My hair shrinks about 60 percent, sometimes 70. Ugh.

I've learned that as it grew, the texture came out more, and I could really see what it looks like. I like it despite its tendency to shrink. I didn't know it looked like this--this coily and happy. It almost looks like it did when I had a texturiser, if it's not quite shrunk and still covered in conditioner. I sometimes wonder what it might look like now if a relaxer had never touched it, ever, and it was allowed to grow and I never cut it but for the occasional trim. The past is just that, though-- past!

I remember when I first went natural, I used to do a twist-out every few days because I had no clue what to do with it, and I got tired of that and started doing this one puff on my head...bad idea. I lost my edges in the front due to that...you know, the "corner temples" at the top, for lack of a better description. I started braiding it up again just to leave it alone, and to let it rest while I babied the edges.
When I got the texturiser it didn't take the first time, so it was trial and error until we got it right. I used to wash with shampoo once a week, leave conditioner and shea butter moisturiser on it every day. I was a bit of a product junkie--at one point I was using 4 products on my head(!), but I found that I could pare it down to two things for my wash-and-go: shea butter and conditioner. And it looked great.

I returned to that combination recently on my natural hair to give my hair a little extra love because it needed it...and it looked so happy. I imagine it felt like this:

And it retained moisture for several days,  right up to my next wash day!
So, here's the products I used.

White Rain Coconut and Hibiscus Conditioner

White Rain Coconut and Hibiscus Conditioner. I used this to co-wash, sometimes left a bit in. I'm not crazy about the smell (it's practically non-existent and powdery), and it could use a little more slip, but it was okay for co-washing once I watered it down a bit. It's good for combing, but I like something a wee bit more slippy, so enter...

TRESemme Flawless Curls Curl Moisturising Conditioner

TRESemme Flawless Curls...OMG. The boyfriend bought this to sub for my usual TRESemme condish--I think it was Smooth and Silky. I fell in love with the scent and the way it made my coils pop. I'm hooked.

On top of that stuff, I just ran some shea butter over every section, then let air dry. Done. And the coils were ecstatic. They were bouncy and springy and shiny and happy, which didn't help my hand-in-hair problem (gotta work on that). It's funny how you come back to things that worked well before.

My mami, who I convinced about growing her natural hair out (she used to cut it all the time) a few years ago, just tried the Dove product line for curls and is raving about the definition she gets with it. Once my hair comes down out of lox I may try it just to see if I like it.

As I write this, I am deep conditioning to prep for going back into lox. And I'm already looking forward to seeing the coils again once they come out in a few months. My journey always seems as if it begins again once I try something different, or something I haven't done in awhile. So, it's never dull, that's for sure.

I Love My Freakin' Hair...Get OVER It Already!

Don't get me wrong--I'm hoping yawl read past the title of this and see what I'm really about to say.
There is a video that has gone viral from the geniuses at Sesame Street, featuring a girl of colour singing her heart out about how she loves her hair.



The first I heard of it was this news report, and it made me smile. I loved that this man loved his daughter so much, he came up with a way, through his work , to show his little girl that her hair is beautiful just the way it is. I tracked it down and downloaded it for my little Grrl Cub (who at this point could care less that the Muppet loves her hair, she just cares that it's a Muppet), and so my whole family could see it. I am surprised at the strength of my feelings about this. I wish that something like this had been around when I was a Gatita. Had there been, perhaps I wouldn't have ever chemically altered my hair within an inch of its life, I dunno. Perhaps my mami wouldn't have ever taken me to the salon to get it done for the convenience and ease of styling it (for her). I thought it was a brilliant masterstroke from the head writer, Joey Mazzarino. Sesame Street has always been a game changer, from how children were taught, to how the death of a loved one should be dealt with. They have always had the balls to change the game. And they're doing it again...and people are pissed.

The main complaint I am hearing is that Sesame Street shouldn't have made it a "race thing", that it should've been a message for everyone with kinky hair. What these people fail to realise is that the song was mainly made for a little girl who didn't like her hair...a little AFRICAN girl.

 Go back and read the article, watch the news segment, and the video. I'll wait.

I can't believe how many people are bugging over this. I actually commented on a story featuring it, because I was so fed up w/the ignorance--the literally "not-knowing-ness" of those who just didn't get it:

For those of you "concerned" about this being a message geared towards ONLY African-American girls, I think you ought to see the backstory on why this song and video happened to begin with:
http://abcnews.go.com/WN/sesame-street-writer-inspired-daughter-creates-love-hair/story?id=11908940
For those of you that can't view that...Joey Mazzarino is a longtime Sesame Street writer, and he and his wife adopted a girl from Ethiopia. And like many of us girls with Afro-textured hair, she was bombarded w/images of Barbie and women with straight hair, which in this society, is deemed the beauty standard. She wondered why her hair wasn't straight, and she wanted hair like that to the point her father decided to make something for her to show her that her hair is beautiful the way it is. And it worked, according to him. She no longer feels that way. So, technically, YES--it WAS made for someone w/ Afro-textured hair, but ended up being a universal message for ANYONE WHO CAN IDENTIFY WITH IT. I think many of us would agree that if this segment had been around when we were in our formative years, we would have accepted our hair as is and learned to love it...like Joey's daughter.
For God's sake, stop getting all hung up on who it's aimed at and accept the message? Please?

Even after writing that, people still were bent on "it shouldn't be limited to black girls--it should be for everyone!" Whatever! What I said above is how I really feel on the subject. Yes, it was made for someone with Afro-textured hair. SFW?! If you can identify w/the message because you have bad unruly kinky hair, is it really such a big deal to you that it wasn't a little Latina/Jewish/Caucasian Muppet singing the damned song?
The only reason why it was a (presumably) African-American Muppet is because Joey's daughter needed someone who looked like her that she could identify with. Gawd. Get OVER it.
The ultimate message is: LOVE WHO THE HELL YOU ARE. Hair and all. Take it, drink it in, use it, and have a nice frosty bowl of STFU. Quityerbxtchin.



And in case you're wondering...yup--I have hair under my synthlox. And it is natural. Why the synthlox, you ask? I like them...end of story. I love that I can make my hair just about any colour--and I like my wild colours....I can do this w/o damaging it. I'm always changing it because I get bored easily. For some reason, I feel really at home in the synthlox. I get laughed at-- I got laughed at before by people when I wanted to install them ten years ago, only to see the same people go and get loc extensions themselves. It's okay, though. I don't wear them for anyone but myself.
Right now, I'm into this look... and growing my natural hair--which is to my shoulders when pulled taut--out underneath. Maybe someday I'll run around w/it permanently. Maybe I'll put a texturiser through it (it really hurts to comb my hair sometimes, LOL, and I can get it to still look Afro while making it easier on my comb). Who knows? Who cares? It's my freakin' hair...and I do love it.