It is really amazing how much music can affect how you feel, how you perceive the world, how much your life can be echoed by another person's lyrics. It's no small feat that hearing a song, whether you liked it or not, can take you right back to where you were, what you were doing, and who you were with when you heard it...when you lived it. Especially if you are an artist who either makes or uses music on a regular basis-- I don't mean just listening to it; I mean IMMERSING yourself in that shxt like it's a bath...wearing it like your favourite shirt. Breathing it. Carrying it.
We all have at least one song that, to put it mildly, eviscerates you, rips you from asshole to scalp and makes no apologies for it. It feels like swords sliding through your heart all at once....right up to the hilt, and you are dead in the water, with no-one to put it in a box for you so it beats forever...sorry. Too many viewings of POtC: Dead Man's Chest.
In my "past life", I had SEVERAL such songs. I couldn't listen to any of them w/o nausea, dizziness, and my heart beating a mile a minute. My gut felt like it had been kissed passionately by a steel-toe boot. I ached soooo much. I felt like I was bleeding out. You know the feeling. I even had a whole album like that. So for years, I avoided such songs like the proverbial plague.
The song here was one of those songs.
I associated this and many other songs with a time in that life that should've been happy, but which really was an out-and-out lie. I carried that burden with me, couldn't even hear the first two notes of the song without diving for the radio or the tv to kill it DEAD before it could get going. It hurt too much.
At some point, in the new life, I decided that I would do an exercise that I learned called "blowing pictures". The pictures the practise is referring to are embedded in your auric field, and can affect your life heavily. You may not even know why. You basically destroy that picture, and heal that spot in your aura. Some pictures are stubborn and you have to do the task over and over to make it stick.
I combined this technique with a cord-cutting visualisation and another technique involving connecting your timeline to change things in your past. It is S T R O N G work, lemme tell ya. And it WORX.
I am happy to say that this beautiful song (and that aforementioned album, for that matter) does NOT NOT NOT have the effect it had before. I can listen to it with no ill effects. It's so freeing to be able to listen to WTH I want w/o feeling imprisoned in pain.
How cule is that? I'm freakin' ecstatic about it!
The song has a different energy; a different heart/soulprint for me now. I'll say it again: it's. WONDERFUL.
I can breathe...