Sunday, December 31, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Days 27-30

I SO fell off. No wifi.
Anyway...gonna keep this as succinct as's New Years Eve!

Day 27: a song that breaks your heart.

No Doubt--" Don't Speak".

Day 28: a song by an artist whose voice you love.

Josie and the Pussycats--"Pretend to be Nice". Sung by Kay Hanley of Letters To Cleo.

Day 29: a song you remember from your childhood.

George Kranz--"Din Daa Daa". Cousin used to play this a lot.

 Day 30: a song that reminds you of yourself.

Nirvana-- "Been A Son".

Tuesday, December 26, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Days 24-26

Man! I fell off again due to holiday prepping and celebrating! But I'm just gonna pick up where I left off...

Day 24 sez "a song by a band you wish was still together".

"Bullet With Butterfly Wings"--Smashing Pumpkins
Yes-- I realise the band is still a thing, but it is NOT the original lineup...
(EDIT 12-2-18: Okay, the band is now 3/4 the original lineup and that's acceptable. Fun fact: I was supposed to see them this summer but didn't get there! Free tix and everything! Great regret. (T_T) )

 Day 25: "a song you like by an artist no longer living".

"The Man Who Sold The World"--Nirvana.

Yes, there are two surviving members, but neither the band nor Kurt are no longer with us.

Day 26: "a song that makes you want to fall in love".

I'm already there, so...


"The Greatest Romance Ever Sold"--Prince.

I'm so happy I got it right this time.
He is, too.

Saturday, December 23, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Day Twenty-Three

Very happy because my loved one is home. Egg nog and coquitos for everyone who is an adult!

So, a song that I think everyone should listen to...

How about one of mine?

This is called "Salvage The Run". It's from my second album, due to be re-released soon.

Friday, December 22, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Days Twenty-Twenty-Two

Gomenasai. I've fallen off because my loved one was in hospital.

Day 20 is "a song that has many meanings for you".

This is tricky...

"Only Happy When It Rains"--Garbage.

It always struck me as a bit ironic. I mean, nobody likes being depressed, but sometimes some of those with super long-term clinical depression are so familiar with it they know what to expect and it almost feels comfortable. It's hard to explain if you haven't been there.
Also, people just always thought this was my life anyway.

Day 21 is "a song you like with a person's name in the title".

"Maria"--Green Day.

Day 22 is "a song that moves you forward".

"Dammn Baby"--Janet Jackson.

Tuesday, December 19, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Day Nineteen

Hi...hope you're having a good time wherever you are, GNOtaku.

Today asks for "a song that makes you think about life".

This song kind of did, recently:

"Here Comes A Thought"--Steven Universe, written by Rebecca Sugar.

When I first heard this, I was in floods because it resonated with me so hard.

Monday, December 18, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Day Eighteen

Today's prompt says "a song from the year you were born".

I'll give one from the year I was reborn, since life really began after then for me anyway.
(Okay, maybe it was released a little earlier, but it charted that year.)

Finger Eleven--"Paralyzer".

Sunday, December 17, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Day Seventeen

Day Seventeen on Sunday...

The prompt asks for a song you'd sing as a duet with someone at karaoke.

I. Have. No. Clue.

It's been forever since I've been to karaoke.

Maybe this...?

Prince--"Take Me With U".

IDK--it was the first duet I actually thought of...drew such a hard blank and then-- "Oh, hey, Prince..."

Saturday, December 16, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Day Sixteen

Okay, so Day Sixteen wants me to think about a song that's a classic favourite.

What does that even mean? A classic to whom? Me...or to people in general?

IDK. I'm just gonna go with this:

  "So Lonely"--The Police.
(Or, as my witty son likes to call them, "The Authoritahs".)


Friday, December 15, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Day Fifteen

Still trying to take it easy...but haven't forgotten this music challenge!

A song that I like that's a cover by another band.
How about this?

Orgy-- "Blue Monday".

I was just talking to my daughter about how awesome this song is...and about how we love both versions, but this one rips.

Thursday, December 14, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Days Thirteen and Fourteen

Sorry, minna-san! Fell off yesterday because I hurt myself in the stupidest way, but I am going to recover.

Day Thirteen calls on a song you like from the 70s.

That's a fun one!

Funkadelic--"(Not Just) Knee Deep".
Definitely not one I get tired of!

Day Fourteen wants "a song you'd love to be played at your wedding".
I got something for that:

Hedwig's Theme.

Because of course I would.

Tuesday, December 12, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Day Twelve

So Day Twelve calls for a song from my preteen years.

Like I did in a previous music challenge, I'm gonna keep you guessing when that was, because music from various decades has been prevalent in my life since conception, LOL.

NuShooz-- "Point Of No Return".

Michael Jackson-- "Rock With You".

Nirvana-- "In Bloom".

Run-DMC--"King Of Rock".

Monday, December 11, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Day Eleven

Wow--actually got to Day Eleven. Yay, and stuff!

Today: a song you never get tired of.

This is pretty easy...

Mystery Skulls-- "Ghost".

I tend to repeat this one a lot when it comes up on my iPod.

Sunday, December 10, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Day Ten

Hey ya...
So today is "a song that makes you sad".


I hate that I'm drawing a blank immediately, because I'm quite sure there's a few of these. But this also may be impaired by the technique I mentioned earlier in this challenge.

Ooh. I got one...and I remembered because I just went to her show recently:

Janet Jackson-- "Come Back To Me".

This is one of the songs I haven't done the technique with, apparently. I loved this but it used to make me cry quite a bit. It's a beautiful video, but I identified with the song a bit too much. Hearing it again after so long kind of kicked me in the gut, LOL. I was already emotional anyway because GODDESS JANET DAMITA JO FXCKING JACKSON, so it was okay. (^_^)

Saturday, December 9, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Day Nine

Hey, minna-san. It's snowing over here by Tha Cat Lair, so we're all trying to keep cozy and warm and stuff.

Today's prompt is asking for a song that makes you happy.

I can think of a song that perks up mah mood...

New Order--"Bizarre Love Triangle".

Friday, December 8, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Day Eight

Here we are at Day Eight, GNOtaku...

Srsly? "A song about drugs or alcohol"?

Of course, I'm drawing a blank...

I think I have one.

The Cure--"Icing Sugar"

Pretty sure this is involving cocaine. It was the 80s, after all.

Thursday, December 7, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Day Seven

Pretty happy I've gone a week without falling off of this, LOL

So now it's "a song to drive to".

Fun Fact: I... don't drive. I really should, though.

I can think of some rides I have taken where certain songs have just felt good.

Here's one.

Metallica-- "Dyers Eve".

I legit had a copy of this on cassette and wore it entirely out (I still have it somewhere). Despite that, I never learned/remembered all the lyrics to everything but there were always lines that stuck out. Listening to "...And Justice For All" has always been about the visceral feelings the music invoked, punctuated by the lyrics. Just the way the first track kicks in is everything. I used to back it up just to hear the chords again and again.

Metallica has always felt like classical to me, the way it was arranged. Maybe that's part of why I could appreciate their earlier stuff.
Has Vitamin String Quartet done this album? They really should.
(They've done a tribute. Okay. Close enough.)

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Day Six

Doing this today almost slipped my mind! Whoopsie.

The prompt sez: "a song that makes you want to dance".

I have a lot of those, but I will share the first one that comes to mind:

Janet Jackson ft. Missy Elliott-- "Burnitup!".

When I first heard this song, I was soooo into it. I still have to play it like eighty-five times in a row when it comes up on my iPod.

I kind of fell off dancing for a variety of reasons, a lot of them having to do with feeling extremely insecure about myself and a whole bunch of shxt taking its toll on me. Watching people dance sometimes still messes with me. But... I have come to the conclusion that since it was something that made me happy... I should probably revisit it.

Tuesday, December 5, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Day Five

Back at it again. This seems to be going pretty swimmingly...

Today's prompt is "a song that needs to be played loud".

Well, shxt--that's like my entire iPod, LOL...but I'll choose one that I tend to turn up every time I hear it.

Talking Heads-- "Pulled Up".

I heard this on Pandora one day and I was hooked, so I downloaded it. It had to be the live version, too. The energy is so frenetic.

Monday, December 4, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Day Four

Whassup? Here we are at Day Four. I am kinda dreading this one because who wants to think about someone they'd rather forget? But that's what today's prompt calls on: A song that reminds you of someone you'd rather forget.

I have PLENTY of people who I'd rather forget...and at one time this choice would have been easy but I have applied a technique to a lot of songs that used to remind me of things and people I'd rather forget and now don't remind me anymore as a result of said technique. So this, more than anything, is why I was dreading this.


There's a person I wish I could forget--but in a good way. I have heard they remember me "fondly", but I can't see how, considering. They were one of those who kind of made up their mind about what they thought I was and who wasn't able to be honest with me due to it. Water under le bridge, though.

I think this song is appropriate.

Living Colour-- "Time's Up".

I chose this because I'd mentioned to the aforementioned someone-I'd-like-to-forget-in-a-good-way that this was one of my fave albums and hated how it was slept on, like "Cult of Personality" was the only thing they'd ever fxcking done. So they gave me their copy of the cd.

Sunday, December 3, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Day Three

Happy Sunday...

So far, so beans. I'm heading into the third day of this challenge...

Today calls for "a song that reminds you of summertime".

Hmmm...difficult, without using the obvious songs with the word "summer" in the title.

There was a song I was listening to on Pandora the other day that I said reminded me of summer parties AND I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT THAT IS NOW.

I got one...

So I used to teach dance at one point at a summer reason this reminds me of summer is because I used it during that time, I guess. But it does have a nice, open summery sound along with some gritty urban finessing.

Troop-- "Spread My Wings".

This is extra, but this does too, for some reason:

Color Me Badd-- "Color Me Badd".

Saturday, December 2, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Day Two

So here's Day Two of the 30-Day Music Challenge.
A song you like with a number in the title...

I have just the one.

Joy Zipper--"1".

This song really speaks to me. It kind of reminds me of how it feels to just try and get along being myself and the isolation I might feel but then I feel the...dare I say comfort?-- in knowing that I can just be the individual that I am, regardless of how people might feel about it.

"People come and go/but you're the one..."

Friday, December 1, 2017

30-Day Music Challenge: Day One

Hey, minna-san.
So in another attempt to kickstart blogging and end the year with a bang, I'm doing another music challenge. It's been awhile.

Day One: a song you like with a colour in the title.

Well, DUH:

Prince-- "Purple Rain".
First thing I thought of.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Regarding The Song Whose Title I Won’t Post In This Blog Title

Hey, minna-san...
I know-- it's been like literally a year since I last posted. I have to admit it's because I just kind of fell off. I had no net for a minute, and then I was just still trying to figure out what I wanted to do with the design of the site and everything. Plus touring and making re-release plans for "P.R.O.W.L.", raising my's been a lot. So I apologise.

This is long, so getcher popcorn ready, GNOtaku.

I wrote a note on Facebook awhile back about one of the songs on "P.R.O.W.L." that I got into a row with one of my team about; a title I cannot really mention here due to issues brought on by a narcissistic entity. Someone took it upon themselves to trademark a phrase that I had been using for years because they were butthurt that 0 Fxcks Given has been my policy for dealing with them for nearly the past ten years. That, and a party thrown last year after freaking Newark Comic Con. Petty revenge-- usual modus operandi for them, I suppose, to throw a monkey wrench in my plans per the norm. Stop "the bomb from becoming".
Another one I had to make. It happens.

Get over it, Veruca. The bomb is still becoming. The bomb is ALWAYS becoming.

...but I digress. That's the abridged version of the backstory.

The argument was that I was “too talented” to just "write responses" to the aforementioned person, and I needed to start writing hits, which, in their opinion, I was good at doing. As if writing responses to them is all I ever do--like that's my whole catalogue.

Which, whether or not they want to accept it, the song I’m referring to above (which I also cannot post here) is decidedly not.

In 2011, after Y E A R S of taking shxt and abuse from her camp and fanbase--up to and including death threats to myself and some GNOtaku--I finally decided to tell my side of things in the way I knew to express myself best--I fxcking rhymed the shxt out of it.

I argued, “No-- this ^^^ was the response to her.” Like, six fxcking years ago...

I argued that they were gonna think what they wanted, no matter what I said, since they had it in their head that E V E R Y T H I N G I bloody do is a response to her--much like she does, come to that. I said I can’t worry about what other people think on what I do, or how it looks to the neighbours. Did too much of that in Past-Life (pre-GATA); ain’t nobody got time for that shxt now.

I will admit, now that I think about it (and I actually have said this out loud before), that I have a lot to purge about the stuff that is still happening, the stuff I haven’t addressed, the stuff the babymomma was doing, the shxt they did to both of us together that I feel I truly need to get rid of. IDGAFF if they hear it, cuz it’s not for them.

It’s for me. To cleanse me. My own form of therapy. Not everything has to be a diss track or a response.

But, again, just to be clear--and for those in the rafters not tryna hear me:


The argument got so heated--with supposed examples to back it up on their end (of which they admitted they had no source but themselves)--that I eventually had to abruptly end the conversation. I was frustrated beyond frustrated. WTF. Why is this even an issue?

I even asked them if they REALLY listened to the lyrics of the song. I mean...they should have done, for good reason, because this individual is in my camp. I’m guessing no...because if they had, they wouldn’t have fixed their face to say this to me, and argue me down about it.

It occurred to me that I should prolly just break down the lyrics.

Here I present the lyrics, broken down, to the song. I should probably do this on Genius someday.

I came out swinging fighting for every single breath
(I was born with a condition that caused me to be born prematurely. I had to fight said condition to stay alive.)

Prolly keep on fighting till I lay down for my death
(Said because that seems to be my lot in life since my birth. I’ve had to fight many battles just to exist. I’m still fxcking fighting them and I imagine I will have to until I’m gone.)

They don’t make ‘em like me no more prolly never did
Dime a doz nah cuz you can see I’m not a typ

–ical chyck I’m a new brew for yer palate
(Well, that’s self-explanatory. I have always been different. The mold was broken, I’m not a dime a dozen, etc. I’m not what people expect when you say “hip-hop artist”. Or, “from Newark”, for that matter. “New brew”--different from what folx are used to. Tea metaphor.)

Hitting like Mjolnir or a cartoon mallet
(I might knock you for a loop like Thor’s hammer or one of those Looney Tunes Acme mallets, because you might not know what to make of me.)

That ain’t all folx (another Looney Tunes reference) I’m just getting gwan
I’m here to educate you on the vida of the nyan
(NYANVIDA--”nyan life”. My philosophy as such: The importance of being yourself and being brave enough to stand and roar your truth.)

Blackest cat on the block blackest sheep in the flock
No place in my race wouldn’t fit in a box
(I didn’t belong anywhere. Still don’t quite belong anywhere: “blackest sheep”. And people had trouble putting me in a niche, so I was always labeled “white”. So eff them--”blackest cat”.)

So I had no choice but to follow my voice
Rocking the box the new style bring the noise
(I decided to just be me, and rhyme what I rhyme, about what I choose, what was true for me, not for everyone else. I reference some of my  influences by their lyrics: Run-DMC, Beastie Boys, Public Enemy.)

I took the red pill evolved to black cat
Heralded my change and the clones don’t accept that
(“The Matrix” reference, meaning that I chose to follow truth [the red pill] and embraced who I am fully [the name change on all fronts, until I also did it legally] and there was and still is a tonne of opposition because I had the clitoral fortitude to do this for me, and we all know people hate what they don’t get, and are mad that they don’t have the nuts to do the same [a “glitch in their matrix”]. I evolved to Gata Negrra/ThaGataNegrra. Simply saying it aloud, writing it down repeatedly, that was the signal for the evolution. I was my own herald [“it happens when they change something”].)

Capitalise yeh I did it-- spay me never
You tore me down I pulled myself together
(Partly references the fact that I capitalise it [and had been capitalising it for years] for emphasis [GATA] and that I took me and ran with it. References being shat on for doing this, for shedding my Past-Life energy, for knowing that I am resilient. I didn’t stay broken.)

T-h-a G-a-t-a … N-e-g-r-r-a
T-r-u-e O-r-i-g-i-n-a-l G-a-t-a
Whatcha say whatcha say…
T-h-a G-a-t-a… N-e-g-r-r-a
T-r-u-e O-r-i-g-i-n-a-l G-a-t-a
All day all day
(Literally spelling it out for you. Affirming that this is me “all day”.)

There was a time when they thought Dei sold out
So I evolved transformed and rolled out
I bumped her off so there wouldn’t be no doubt
I wasn’t soft I was letting my bold out
(This is about Past-Lifer. I had a different name, the nickname for which was Dei [dee], and once I had been liberated of my place in my former tribe and went out on my own musically, there was criticism on several fronts that I had “gone soft” and “become a dance diva”. “You’re not supposed to be doing this type of shxt,” they said. That last came from a source that I trusted at the time; they may have lied about everything else, but on this they were spot on.

So, I “killed” her. I began again. I remember actually saying: “I’m gonna have to kill this bxtch” out loud. So I evolved--loudly. Or, more accurately: continued to evolve more loudly; the evolution was already happening before I realised it. The bomb was already becoming.
 You know where “transform and roll out” comes from.)

All I ever did was land on my feet
And the powers that be pointed that out to me
They said “Daughter go be ‘xactly who you meant to be
You are duality and adaptability
(This is referencing a dream/vision I had about Bast and Sekhmet. They were the ones who encouraged me to go full-on and reinvent myself. Also, cats land on their feet--more points to my resilience. Duality, meaning I’m both dark and light, sweet/tart, you get the idea. And adaptability speaks for itself.)

“Sun moon stars go and craft those bars
Break your chains show the world those scars
You earned them from a hard-won battle well-fought
Honour us honour you honour them with what you brought”
(Short version of O/our conversation in the vision. “Don’t be ashamed of all the scars you earned from your fight. Show them. Free yourself. Embrace yourself and all your flaws. By doing so, you honour Us, and in turn, yourself” and you, GNOtaku, by proxy, because it would be dishonourable to you for me to be phony. Kind of like that “freedom is power” speech in Catwoman, except for real.)

So I’m coming at you from my temple cell in the booth
Some nyan cuz it’s cute I nyan cuz it’s truth
You see me see me rock my nekomimi mimi while
Some do it for looks I do it cuz life and style
(I’m telling you this on record, in the recording booth, my room in my sanctuary; my habitat. Some say “nyan” [Japanese onomatopoeia for the sound a cat makes] because it’s cute/kawaii, but it’s a badge of honour for me as a cat grrrl [not that it’s not kawaii; it’s just not the main why]. I wear the ears/am a catgrrrl [nekomimi] while I do this because it’s part of who I am, not some fashion statement.)

T-h-a G-a-t-a … N-e-g-r-r-a
T-r-u-e O-r-i-g-i-n-a-l G-a-t-a
Whatcha say whatcha say…
T-h-a G-a-t-a… N-e-g-r-r-a
T-r-u-e O-r-i-g-i-n-a-l G-a-t-a

I am living breathing cognitive dissonance
(Weird, yes, I know. Cognitive dissonance is “the state of having inconsistent thoughts, beliefs, or attitudes, especially as relating to behavioral decisions and attitude change.” I said this because I am a lot of things that conflict with each other, and because people are always mixed in response to what I do [“hip-hop isn’t my thing but I like your music!”].)

Brix prowling straight sui generis
(“Sui generis” is “of his, her, its, or their own kind; unique”. “Brix prowling”--going around Newark...”Brick City”.)

Tragic beautiful abysmal princess
 (places I shopped, LOL)
DiosaAniManga serving cat grrrl realness
(“Anime/Manga Cat Goddyss”. Was actually labeled that by someone. “Serving catgrrrl realness”...showing you as much of my meowness as is allowed. “Serving realness” is a drag term. What can I say--I grew up around drag queens.)

This be the source my origin tale
Condensed to make sense on a much shorter scale
(Basically, what it sez: the short version of how I came to be who I am.)

I’m betting you expected me to go off the rails
Another one you’d love to call a grand epic fail
(My haters, going all the way back to kittenhood, always pray to their petty gods for me to fail, but I haven’t gone anywhere. They expected me to commit suicide, to not do my music, to fade away quietly. These are things that haven’t happened.)

My evolution wasn’t televised so
Folx think I’m that chyck from long time ago
(People who knew me in Past-Life think I am the same person I was then. I’m not. Very few of them had a front-row seat to me changing [“wasn’t televised”] so they are running off old information. Is a reference to Gil Scott-Heron’s “The Revolution Will Not Be Televised”.)
(I love how in the most recent "Black Panther" trailer they use that piece.)

Nine lives close scrapes unscathed bring hate
Reinvent new paint same core same strength
(It is said that cats have nine lives. Beginning to wonder if that’s true considering the fact that I should be dead a few times over. I’ve had some close calls, but got out mostly intact. Because of this, the haters hate me--I haven’t gone away, as I’ve already pointed out. I may have reinvented myself, but don’t worry--I am still the best parts of me, the parts you liked.)

I’m the original and the improvement
Brand upgrades with every thought every movement
(Self-explanatory. I’ve been called a trendsetter, there are people who have done “me” verbatim [but without realness] or followed my example, and because I continue to get better all the time, I am the improvement of myself. I’m constantly upgrading to a better me.)

You thought you knew but you had no idea
And I ain’t done it’s just the tip of the spear
(A nod to MTV’s “Diary” which usually ended its intros with “you think you know, but you have no idea”. Means that people only know what they’ve heard, but not my story until now. I’m not done, you haven’t seen anything yet--I said “spear” because “iceberg” doesn’t rhyme, LOL.)

T-h-a G-a-t-a … N-e-g-r-r-a
T-r-u-e O-r-i-g-i-n-a-l G-a-t-a
Whatcha say whatcha say…
T-h-a G-a-t-a… N-e-g-r-r-a
T-r-u-e O-r-i-g-i-n-a-l G-a-t-a
All day all day

That’s...pretty much it. If you read this far, arigato. I appreciate it. I hope it gave you a bit more insight into the lyrics, and in turn, who I am and what I was really saying.