So far, it's looking to be my lead single because it's the one getting all the attention.
I've been doing a lot of thinking about it because it is something personal, and I realise some people might take it the wrong way. So I wanted to post a blog on it.
Admittedly, the song is semi-autobiographical in that I have actually experienced some of the feelings I express in the lyrics (and in the interlude proceeding it on the cd)...but I haven't had the problem of being almost compleatly ignored over some porn goddess. (Thank GOD.) I used the extremes to illustrate and convey the feelings a little more hardcore. Who knows? Maybe there is a girl out there who HAS gone through this exact thing. I just happened to feel strongly enough about this subject to write about it; after all, this is the very bedrock of songwriting.
The song is NOT about dissing the lovely ladies of the porn industry, that's for sure. I couldn't, in good conscience, really do that, being that I WAS a Paperdoll myself for one brief moment. It would be hypocritical! For all I know, there was some guy out there obsessed w/some picture I took, and his girlfriend was going off on him about it. Why would be beyond me, as the pictures were, for the most part, very tasteful for that kind of mag, even cheesy...and we know people like their hardcore shxt!-- but I digress.
The song IS about a dysfunctional relationship, in that the guy in it clearly has an addiction to porn to the point his girlfriend isn't enough for him anymore, and he ignores her 99 per cent of the time. She's unhappy, and she warns him, "You gon' get left with them paperdollz". She's at her wits' end, but still willing to play ball if he is. Whether he does or not remains to be seen.
Some of the descriptions of the girls in print might be taken as inflammatory --"cookie-cutter", referring to said girls as "that" as opposed to "her/them", pointing out their "fake boobs" and "big booty"-- you get the idea. Remember: this is from the POV of an obviously frustrated, neglected woman, who's feeling just a wee bit insecure about her partner's infatuation. She even tries to tell him, "I get it"-- even going so far as to suggest his indulging in his porno fantasies helps their relationship by keeping him faithful ("mainlining those'll/keep you home, I suppose"). The problem lies in him not paying any attention to her whatsoever, and she feels she can't compete even though she is a flesh-and-blood woman.
My own feelings are coming out in that I do take issue with the majority of these girls looking the same...P/shopped to the point their bodies are almost identical: same skin, same boobs...definitely the same big ass, LOL. It's insane. It also kills me that if a girl has that look in real life, the men will complain about the very enhancements that made them buy the magazines and movies in the first place....and then complain they want a "real" girl. Ri-i-i-ght...no pressure there.
The real message is that anyone--not just guys, but women too-- need to appreciate the person in their life and not take them for granted, favouring things that are not real over someone who is. A magazine is just ink, metal, and paper. A flick or an online site is just pixels on a screen. It's two-dimensional. And in the end, your partner is right there, and that image is NOT.
This even extends to the strippers/exotic dancers at the club. They are there to get their money. They are there to entertain you and do their job... up to and including being friendly (in some cases, EXTRA friendly) with you. It doesn't mean they wanna bear your kids or give you any, even. They might not be 2-D, but they usually aren't a part of your life outside of that club or that bachelor/bachelorette party or whatever. They are real people, but they aren't your real relationship. They sell you fantasy.
THAT is what the song is about.
So, no...it's not an animosity thing. Trust me.
Why was I a Paperdoll, you ask? Simple.
"I was young. I needed the money."
I had my own reasons. Besides-- I don't think I'm the first femcee or artist who did this at one time in their life. It was one mag, a loooooooooooooong time ago. Anything I've done since was either pin-up or fetish modelling.
And...trust me on this: the feature sucked because a) it wasn't real and b) my hair was a wreck. Ugh. I have better pics with my kit off in my possession that are waaaay better, LOL.