On Being "Tawdry" and "Offputting"...

I got a review once from The Daily Vault that resulted in an A- (not too shabby). To this day, I think the reviewer was the only one who really got me musically, and I was SO happy and relieved about that, even though my brother wasn't as appreciative of what was said about the production of GATA City. (TBH, I don't think it sounded as "homegrown" as we were told in the article.) I think this will be remedied in future projects; but we've heard quite a few favourable comments from others (including, but not limited to people in radio) about the production, so I just chalk it up to "this shxt ain't for everybody". I mean, considering what passes for "the sound" nowadays... if this is what is considered "chique", then, I'll stay sounding "homespun", thank you very much, LOL.

The review also said this:

An integral part of [Tha]Gata Negrra’s image is her weirdness, which can seem a bit tawdry and offputting. Her music, however, is anything but. Gata Negrra might like to be... an anime character that wears gaudy clothes and makeup, but GATA City is an ordinary mainstream pop album – an enjoyable and a great mainstream pop album.
Huh. Okay.
I'm guessing the reviewer has never been to Japan. Or watched an anime. I could be wrong.
At the time, I wasn't quite offended; I've been getting that "OMG whatthehellisthat" reaction all my life, so it isn't new to me. I did bristle a bit at "tawdry" and "gaudy", which are usually pretty negative words:

taw·dry- adjective \ˈtȯ-drē, ˈtä-\ : cheap and gaudy in appearance or quality; also : ignoble <a tawdry attempt to smear his opponent> noun: cheap showy finery


gau·dy-  adjective \ˈgȯ-dē, ˈgä-\
1: ostentatiously or tastelessly ornamented
2: marked by extravagance or sometimes tasteless showiness : outlandish <gaudy lies> <gaudy claims>;
also :exceptional <a gaudy batting average>
Note that "gaudy" is actually used as a synonym for "tawdry".
Those words are just more shorthand for "We don't get it". Or, "We can't wrap our eyes around it. It's too much."
Okay. I'll buy that for a dollar. Like I said: it's nada new.
I was talking with someone I know who works for a prominent indie label and, in general, likes my look/brand, and he likened me to a fire hose...in that, when the audience comes to drink, instead of giving them a water fountain trickle, I visually give them a faceful of high-jet water. I thought it was funny, actually. And not por nada: it's kind of the point.
The odd bit is that this guy, who I respect and admire immensely and love him to death, actually suggested that I strip down--like a LOT--and give you guys the full-jet later (and yet, he loves and promotes people like Kerli, Lady Gaga, and Nicki Minaj and Madonna). I didn't immediately object--I mean, this guy is who he is for a reason-- but it would be, I dunno, untrue to me. I don't like giving people the untruth. I want to give you the full truth. I don't mean truth as in shedding all of the clothes and barrettes and adornments. Those are just amplification. I mean, if everyone wanted truth, we'd all be running around naked, no?
I mean full truth as in giving you the whole ThaGataNegrra experience. And that is what people come to see me for. You didn't come to see me sans synthlox extensions, sans clothes, sans the..."explosive" version of me. You didn't come to see me be "normal". You weren't attracted to me because I'm freaking "normal".

You came because you saw me flying my freak flag, didn't you?

You came because you saw that it isn't some chyck making play she's so unusual (yes, that is indeed an intentional Cyndi Lauper reference) like some artists you might see out there...you saw that it is coming from a place where genuine "weirdness" is rampant. You've either visited that place or wanted to visit that place, or wanted to know what that place looked like before you went there.
That's what I represent.
And if I came to you with my natural coily hair as it is now, in blue jeans and a fxcking plain black t-shirt and tried to sell you the Meowness, you. Would. Not. Buy it. Period.

I will say that when I was younger, all the way up to where I am now, I have expressed myself differently than that of my peers, even if I had on the same outfit (or elements of the same outfit), I must have carried it differently than they. I've seen people look at old pics of me and say, "You didn't look weird at all!" No, not to them in the picture. But, if you were walking down street with me at the time it was taken, in that outfit, you'd have heard a whole bunch of taunts thrown at me. I never got that. Still don't. But it is what it is.
Back then, it was: "THIS bxtch..." now it's: "THIS bxtch is walking through the supermarket with ma-fxckin' CAT ears on."
I do that because it's true for me now. That--walking through the supermarket with ma-fxckin' cat ears on-- is. MY. TRUTH. And I would be less than respectful of me-- of you, even-- if I didn't do that.
I just took a course that advised the very thing that I am already doing. I was pleasantly surprised to hear this. And I'm proud of the fact that I've already got "it". One less thing for me to learn.

I was recently reminded that for some reason Cyndi Lauper was a big influence on me. That I loved the look that Prince and all his proteges touted in the Revolution and New Power Generation eras. That it was all about shell-toe Adidas. That I wanted violet and white hair. That I had an affinity for and with cats. That I used to want to be like the characters from Battle of the Planets/Gatchaman. That I was a lot like Yuri from The Dirty Pair (Adam Warren version). That I once got teased for looking like "a reject from the X-Men" (which I thought was so funny...).
It certainly explains a lot about me.

If you notice the last part of the definition for gaudy, it says: "exceptional".
"EX-CEP-TION-AL".

ex·cep·tion·al (ikˈsepSHənəl)adj.
1. Being an exception; uncommon.
2. Well above average; extraordinary: an exceptional memory.
3. Deviating widely from a norm.
I can take that.

So, when I got the link to the review from The Daily Vault, it was accompanied by an email from the writer. In it, he expressed the fact that he loved what I was doing, to keep up the good work, and signed it, "Your fan from Canada".

In the end...still expressed being a fan. I was humbled.

That is what being true to who you are can get you. It takes longer, but it's worth it.

Random Weekly Pic....9-5-11

Fxck-- I'm so bad with these. I'm super late, LOL
Well, I'll put up three again...

Those are all random shots of our pre-Irene performance at the Palm Street Block Association's annual block party. It was raining like crazy most of the day, but they are hardcore about their block parties, LOL

Yes--I Know What It Means...Duh.

I was asked why the word "otaku" was used in "GataNegrraotaku", when the meaning is derogatory-- especially in Japan, and when Westerners use it ignorant of its meaning. Well, frankly... I wasn't the one who came up w/it entirely; it was kind of an inside joke.

The fan group founder (who, by the way, is Japanese) and I were sitting around shooting the shxt and talking about how Adam Warren had used that word in an issue of Dirty Pair where there was a Dirty Pair convention, calling the fans KYOtaku. We thought that was funny, since "otaku" is the honorific for house, but in Japan it means basically, you have such an obsession, hobby, or whatever that you don't leave your house... and therefore you are kind of a loser. We thought that it was cute how Western kids were trying to reclaim it as a positive thing, tho' if you went to Japan, they would prolly laugh your ass right out of the building or shake their heads in reproach and pity at the stupid "gaijin" (or "kokujin" in my case). At first we were using it in conjunction w/another project I was involved in (and thank God/dess I'm not anymore), but later just used it for me. We knew full well what we were doing. We figured that the fans I did have were totally in the closet, and prolly on the DL...there seemed to be so few of them. We imagined guys eating ramen and checking out gore shots of me and fun indie movies, buying pics, watching my lipsynchs, etc., and possibly never leaving the house. Ever. Why? Because it wasn't cule to be a fan of ThaGataNegrra for various reasons (she's fat, she's weird, she's crazy, she's lame; pick one and go w/it). Why even show your face? So, we also decided to claim it in irony. We thought the very idea was hilarious.

On the GNOtaku page on my former site, I just simplified the "dictionary" meaning: "Japanese colloquial term meaning 'obsessed fan' (which is what they said in the Dirty Pair mag, I might add); formerly used in a pejorative manner, but now accepted amongst otaku in an attempt to claim it in a positive light." Which is true, especially here. We also reasoned that there were people who were proud to be GNOtaku, that it was cule to be uncule, and basically nerds rule the world because w/o them I wouldn't be writing a blog on a computer that runs on electricity, now would I? W/o nerds, we'd be in the stone age, and totally not entertained at all. Geeks, nerds, and yes, otaku are good things. Who wouldn't be proud? But who'd admit it? Very few people...which is why the first GNOtaku slogan was "The Few and Proud", also a joke and homage to the Marines, LOL. We had a contest recently to change it because, hello? Trademark infringement much? LOL...

We absolutely knew what we were doing, believe me. I still think it's a funny, albeit true, joke. I am uncule...and to a lot of people, that makes me very cule because I choose to be who I am. The same can't be said for many people: I have been told by such folx I'm brave and whatnot for doing so; that I have balls. W'ever. I'm not trying to go out of my way to do it...never did. I just was/am that way. It's not a big deal.

So...the name GataNegrraotaku sticks. I'm not trying to insult anyone. In a way it's self-deprecating; in another it's saying "fxck you-- I'm fxcking proud to be lame!" Either way, I think I'll keep it.
Besides...it rolls off the tongue so nicely! (~_^)

GATA, and Where She Stands (and Lives) in the Hip-Hop V. Rap Debate

   Every once in awhile, I find I need to re-evaluate myself and my form of self-expression, whether or not I'm doing this for nothing, why I'm doing it. I have to ask myself if I am contributing to the problem or if I'm part of the solution...

   I'm referring, of course, to the whole hip-hop/rap issue. This morning, one of the pioneers in hip-hop culture, Melle Mel of The Furious Five, posted:“At Some Point in the near future you are gonna have to seperate Hip Hop from Rap (sic)”. I thought of this quote from a KRS-ONE song: “Yall don't really know/hip-hop ain't rap”, and posted that. But then I got curious as to how other people saw this. So I Googled, and found a whole buncha shxt on the subject. I posted this underneath what I said:

   “Out of curiosity I googled "difference between hip-hop and rap". The first article it came back w/was pretty interesting. Most think hip-hop is the lifestyle/culture, while rap is one of its mediums. Still others think hip-hop is the purest form you can offer as an emcee, all its positives w/quality lyrics, and rap is what's mainstream right now. And others think rap is the real shxt and hip-hop is the bullshxt. Some say the scratching and djs are what is hip-hop, anything done on machines, samples, or over other types of music like rock or r+b could never be called hip-hop. I'd offer my opinion, but I'm just gonna leave it at this, lol”

   It really did get me thinking. When I first started, about a thousand years ago, LOL... I was influenced by the likes of Run-DMC, LL Cool J, and anybody that came before them, because that's what I grew up on. I was also determined and felt duty bound to incorporate all four of the elements, because that was what I knew by default. I rapped, I was a locker, I tried to dj, and I was infamous for tagging. Later, my influences included salt & Pepa, Sparky D, Kane, Beasties, the Native Tongues, Latifah, Serch; still later, Digital Underground, Cypress Hill, and Eminem. I consider what all these artists do genuine parts of the hip-hop culture and rap-as-a-medium spectrum. They are all different, but they all are emcees employing what rap is about: storytelling, getting the party started (which is what it started out as, before we discovered it could be socially conscious with “The Message”. Then, we discovered you could say almost anything), showing off your skills, etc. Some have managed to do all three.

   With the introduction of the songs just to jump on the bandwagon (like that whole Roxanne thing, and even how Salt and Pepa got started, dissing Doug E. Fresh and Slick Rick with “Showstoppas” under the name Supernature), and MC Hammer/Vanilla Ice/the migration of rap to the West Coast, where, at first, they totally fxcked it up (my East Coast bias is showing! LOL, but even Coolio and a few others admitted the 1^st W.C. emcees were whack until they got it together), as it got bigger and eventually exploded to the forefront, rap (and the rest of the hip-hop culture, come to that) got severely diluted. And it seemed that the more that it spread, and the more the big boxes got hold of it and tried to(like everything else) make it more palatable for the masses, the worse it got... finally reaching new lows with the introduction of the so-called “Dirty South” sound. This, now, is what people think hip-hop is. Granted, I don't include quite a few Southern artists in this category-- just the ones who aren't that talented/original/innovative...we know who they are. And, since I am a part of the culture—whether people think so or not because of what my particular sound is-- I will defend that shxt till I die, because that is what you do for your family. But I won't hesitate to tell my family that their shxt is bootleg, either. Like I said once, you may not like or get along with your family but you should stick together if you can.

   Now, by the above thinking-- “ the scratching and djs are what is hip-hop, anything done on machines, samples, or over other types of music like rock or r+b could never be called hip-hop”-- those who think that are cutting out a TON of the innovators and pioneers. I call bullshxt. Bullshxt perpetuated by hip-hop purists who just say shxt like that to keep the newbies out. Run-DMC broke a lot of ground rhyming over guitars. Joey may not have dug on it, but he did it and “Rock Box” and “King Of Rock” were huge hits BEFORE “Walk This Way” was even considered being covered. They were still just using the beat to rhyme over, and fxck the rest of the song. “Raising Hell” was the top album before being outsold by “License to Ill”. By that thinking, there would never have been any other forms of hip-hop; by that thinking, nobody would have felt the need to explore and experiment with sound.

   I also think about the content of people's songs. Hip-hop used to be about getting the party started and having a good time before telling stories and spreading messages about what really is going on in our communities. Every artist was known for their different points of view and specialties. Somewhere that got lost. Now, it's all about the same shxt, and all the videos look the same. Frankly, I can't even blame that on the West Coast that much. Some, but not all. I blame Sean Puff Daddy Puffy P. Diddy Coombs. It's mainly his fault, along with Biggie, Lil Kim, and the Junior Mafia, or whatever they called themselves that this era of decadence and ballin' and spending money and all that shxt became the norm, the model from which all commercial-selling rap is based. That and Jay-Z, Foxy Brown and their visuals, and pimp crap. Whatever. “Oh, we keepin' it real.” Really. Jay, when were you a fxcking pimp?

   Anyway...where does ThaGataNegrra fit into all this, and what does she think?

   Well... I don't fit into all this, I'm afraid. I don't fit anywhere, and I don't really expect to. I can't say the stuff I have so far is a straight-up hip-hop sound. Stuff I did back in the day, yes. This, no. However, I am still a hip-hop artist. I'm just combining all my influences. ALL of them, including my new-wave, rock, dance, EBM, and punk influences—with a few pop culture things and nerdy things thrown in. A lot of people don't get that. And a lot of people don't know that right now I'm working on exploring my roots and getting back to that Golden Era sound, along w/making stuff that sounds more palatable to the hip-hop masses. Simply put, I am doing me, and I am being genuine.

   As far as my content...I tell stories. I rhyme about having a good time, I rhyme over bouncy beats, cuz I love dancing and it's part of who I am. I express frustration, I tell about my struggles with sanity. Everything I write is true to me. It may not be Shakespeare, but I'm not trying to write Shakespeare. I am focused on the fun right now, but who's to say I won't get serious? People have no idea what's in my head or in the vaults. You'd be surprised.

   By that reasoning, I am still a hip-hop artist...and I am not perpetuating the problem. I don't plan on making the generic at-the-club-by-the-pool-on-a-yacht video. I won't bombard our children and teens w/images of asses wiggling in the camera and excess bling and grillz and cars I don't own, let alone plan to drive. I won't brag to you about what I got. I will tell you what I think and believe, I will try to get you to dance, I will let you inside my head and let you see what it's like in there when it's dark and when it's light. I will show you what it's like in my corner of the universe. I will incorporate all four elements, cuz nobody seems to anymore. That is my job as an artist and storyteller, as an emcee and daughter of the hip-hop culture.

As an artist it is also my right to express myself as I see fit...but I also have the power to influence...so I will evaluate myself and adjust accordingly. If I don't, I am a part of the problem.

   So, I am living in my skin, and like it that way. I'm not manufactured or put together, and it's prolly why I hadn't got ahead before as fast as I have now (besides the fact I spent years in a group that was never gonna happen anyway)--because I refused to be “packaged”. What you see is what you fxcking get. This is really me.

   I am prepared to stay indie. I stopped looking for a label a long time ago. Nobody is going to change me. You can make suggestions, and I might consider them, but ultimately, it's my choice. I might write something I know will be a commercial success, and then I might write something that only one or two people will ever get. But as long as someone is listening, that's all that matters to me. As long as I get to share it with you. Big ass bonus if I can make a living at it, and gigantic fxcking bonus if I get wealthy. Either way, I know that I am being true to me and the cultures that influenced me. It's in that aspect that yes, I am the real deal.

Pressing On Despite Haters and Lack of Faith/Support...

Wow.
If you know me you know it takes a lot for me to express frustration. But I have to say it is really hard to get people to support a cause. I mean, I have fans but I barely know it...most of you, when called upon...don't respond. It makes me wonder if anyone actually is into what I'm doing. Part of building a fanbase is word of mouth. I'm really pushing the gig thing this year. But how on earth can anyone tell their buddies "GATA had an awesome gig" or "GATA's gig really sucked, but I liked it anyway" (LOL)  if they're not even there to see it? How can you post pictures, or video--how can you hate on it if you haven't even seen it?

I think that, because of how I performed last year at the Newark Gay Pride thingy, people are prolly put off a bit, and don't want to come out again (not that they came out in droves for the first one). I mean, if you were there, it prolly looked crazy, but some people were responding...add to that the fact that Newark acts as if it's too cule for the room sometimes. They don't respond to anything they don't get, and even if they do get it, it takes a lot for them to express anything. I've seen them literally just stand there and zombie stare at all the acts in a show, save the people who may have known the act that was on stage at any given time. It's like it's too much to ask for some positive energy! Even when WWE was here, they gave no love...and that's WWE! WTF did you buy a ticket for? But I digress...

My performance wasn't...as good as I'd hoped it'd be. I even tell you in the video that I'm having some issues w/sound and a fit of the giggles...thanx to my grrl cub kicking me and these two people in the front who were giving sooo much energy doing these 80s dances, LOL. It could have been much better. I had fun, tho'. I thought I was gonna end up in the damned emergency room/labour and delivery when it was over, N4N!
I look at the video often to study myself and remember what not to do.

I am hoping that May's gig will be better. I'm certainly putting a lot into it. I'm an emcee, but I'm kinda from the old school when people rhymed about nearly anything and could get away w/it, when dance was still an important part of the culture, when people weren't trying to look like they were hardened criminals and obsessed w/"keepin' it real". I'll keep it real, alright, but my "real" is waaaayyy different than their "real". Real for me is expressing myself thru my art and my music, which includes my appearance. I mean even by old-school standards, I'm a different breed. I prolly would've been the weirdest of the Native Tongues if I was part of that crew, to give you some perspective on that.

My show is different from what you'd expect a hip-hop act to be...so you can't go in expecting hardcore ghetto attitude. That's not to say I won't write hardcore, cuz I have some sinister shxt going on in my head sometimes. I explore a range of feelings when I write. Right now, I am focused on trying to have fxckin' fun. Where's the fun @ in hip-hop, guys? Does it always have to be about "bxtches", how much collateral you supposedly have, how many people you fxcked, how much money you have, how you'll cap somebody for no apparent reason, to be "real"? I mean, even when the Beasties wrote "License to Ill", they were doing it tongue-in-cheek! C'mon, yawl...

Expect actual choreography this time. Expect more songs besides what you see on the video. Expect me to look really crazy--as usual. Expect an overall better show.

In light of this I am trying to gather a street team. I need visual support, I need to get the asses in the seats, as it were, LOL. The outside world has to know who I am and what I'm about. If you appreciate what I do, if you think I should meet the world, I humbly ask for any help you might be able to give. I do give incentives, for those asking, "What's in it for me?" Get recruited and find out!

Hey, GNOtaku, welcome to my new site!! I wanted to give the whole thing a much-needed makeover and had been busier than a one-armed paperhanger setting it up...now it's finally done!
A few things are different: I didn't add the Litterbox this time, because a) people didn't know how to use the damned thing and b) why invite hate on purpose? Maybe later... when I get someone else to read my mail for me. I liked to have warning that I was getting some "jealous hater nonsense", but I see that haters will post shxt anywhere on the site they can, so oh well. That's what mail philtres are for!
The Gore Goddyss™ page will eventually lead to a whole other site that's in the worx. There'll be a gallery there, as well as stuff geared towards my scarier side.
So...have a whirl around the site, if you'd like to exchange banners, shoot us an email from the contact page!

Her Morbid Meowness
ThaGataNegrra
La GATA Verdadera Y Original