#LoveWins...Or Does it?

Okay-- admittedly, the title of this blog prolly smells of clickbait. But it's no less a valid question. Is this statement really true? Did love win?

In a HUGE way, yes--yes, it did. And yet, while same-sex couples all over the nation celebrate this landmark victory for the LGBTQIA community, there are some members who are definitely being overlooked...and since I happen to be one of them, I felt I had to speak up on it.

I identify as a bisexual woman. Yeh, I said it. I came out to my parents a few years ago (bye-bye to the hopes of the haters who planned to out me to them--too late, bxtches! They KNOW), and my true friends and family have always known. My partner-in-life knows and has always known. He doesn't care. He isn't intimidated. And his culeness with it isn't because he thinks he's gonna be up to his twins in wall-to-wall poontang, if that's what you're thinking. He accepts it because it's a part of who I am. He and I have enjoyed a surprisingly monogamous relationship for 7 1/2 years (yes, really). We have a daughter together (and two older cubs from previous relationships). We might get married. Anything can happen.

Despite this, I still identify as bisexual. It's why I chose to perform a few years ago at my local pride celebration. I think, though, that the moment it was known that I was pregnant at the time, and madly in love with a man, the general attitude from the LGBTQIA community here towards me changed (and they even seemed to go out of their way to clarify at the next celebration that they were "looking for LGBT performers", as if I wasn't one). It hurt, and I said as much. But, y'know, nobody takes that sort of thing seriously, because bisexuality isn't a thing (sarcasm font on). ::pfft::

I have often asked, "Why even have the B in LGBTQIA if it's just going to be ignored, overlooked, shunned, mocked, and ridiculed by the rest of the community?" I never knew that there was so much bloody biphobia and bi erasure in the world, let alone in my own fxcking sect. There are people who still think that it is a phase, that I came out to be cute and trendy --even my own mother met it with a little scrutiny, but when she realised I was sincere, she relented.

According to the world, bisexual people are confused, greedy, promiscuous, in denial, psychotic--you name it. I'm here to tell you: WE. ARE. NOT. We know exactly what we want and who we are. And we know we can live life and love as we want to. Just because you might like savory and sweet things doesn't mean you have to enjoy both literally at the same damned time. It's the same for most of us. At least I know for sure it is for me. I'm bisexual, but I am not polyamorous. I learned my lesson with that the hard way; it is not for meows truly.

In the wake of SCOTUS' decision, a wave of rainbow euphoria spread across social media, and a wave of sheer hate did as well. I expected the hate (though I admit I was disappointed in where some of it was coming from, and what it was hiding behind). I didn't really expect that so many others, including but not limited to bisexuals, would feel as if they've been overlooked by the media, because it suddenly became all about "The Gay Agenda". They could have used phrases like "same-sex couples" and "marriage equality" as opposed to "gay marriage", a phrase which left the rest of the LGBTQIA community out of the celebration. Bi/Pan/Transsexuals are happy about this, too, y'know!

So, that is part of my reason for this headline. Maybe a better headline would have been "#LoveWins...But Did It Win For Everyone?"

I don't know. I'm happy, but we still have a long way to go.

Skull/Crossbones...

I was watching Janet being interviewed by Piers Morgan and he was commenting on her skulls jewelry. I kinda rolled my eyes because I'm often critcised for wearing skull and crossbones motif. Janet had her reasons, and I have mine, which I am about to share.
The skull represents a few things to me. One, it reminds me of remaining empty. I don't mean "empty" in a bubbleairhead sense. I mean "empty" in the sense that you cannot fill what is already full. How can you learn when you know everything? They remind me to be open.
Another thing they represent to me is death, obviously (again, empty) but with the promise of rebirth, like winter into spring. With decay will eventually come growth. Things die and are reborn.
The big thing they represent to me is pirates. Yup--I said it-- pirates. Bear with me...
Thievery, scurvy, and killing aside, pirates that we were told stories about were cunning, clever and creative when they had to be. They knew how to beat the system that doomed many to fail. They took chances and went against the grain. They were the outcasts, the ragtag bunch that people looked down upon, and pulled themselves up and did what they had to do. It may not always have been right, but they did SOMETHING.
They took destiny into their own hands and they made something happen. They made a society for themselves.

They had the skull and crossbones to show they were dangerous and deadly...but to me it represents freedom. Once you decide to grab your destiny and change your life, go against everything you were taught and programmed, to stop waiting for someone to help you and you just DIY--as far as I am concerned, you, my friend, are a pirate. Yo-freakin'-ho.
The minute you decide to not have your life dictated to you and to live it as you see fit no matter who likes it, you have joined the ranx of piracy...just not in the sense that you are stealing and wreaking havoc.
Or maybe you are.
Maybe you're stealing your life back. Maybe you're wreaking havoc on a suffocating system that wants you to die and would chew you up and spit you out and have your guts for garters. Maybe you are making the best waves, and sailing them for all they are worth. If this is you, my pirate hat's off to you.
So...that's why I wear 'em...that's what they mean to me.
Sorry for the lack of eloquence on this-- I was just jotting down a random thought...

I Love My Freakin' Hair...Get OVER It Already!

Don't get me wrong--I'm hoping yawl read past the title of this and see what I'm really about to say.
There is a video that has gone viral from the geniuses at Sesame Street, featuring a girl of colour singing her heart out about how she loves her hair.



The first I heard of it was this news report, and it made me smile. I loved that this man loved his daughter so much, he came up with a way, through his work , to show his little girl that her hair is beautiful just the way it is. I tracked it down and downloaded it for my little Grrl Cub (who at this point could care less that the Muppet loves her hair, she just cares that it's a Muppet), and so my whole family could see it. I am surprised at the strength of my feelings about this. I wish that something like this had been around when I was a Gatita. Had there been, perhaps I wouldn't have ever chemically altered my hair within an inch of its life, I dunno. Perhaps my mami wouldn't have ever taken me to the salon to get it done for the convenience and ease of styling it (for her). I thought it was a brilliant masterstroke from the head writer, Joey Mazzarino. Sesame Street has always been a game changer, from how children were taught, to how the death of a loved one should be dealt with. They have always had the balls to change the game. And they're doing it again...and people are pissed.

The main complaint I am hearing is that Sesame Street shouldn't have made it a "race thing", that it should've been a message for everyone with kinky hair. What these people fail to realise is that the song was mainly made for a little girl who didn't like her hair...a little AFRICAN girl.

 Go back and read the article, watch the news segment, and the video. I'll wait.

I can't believe how many people are bugging over this. I actually commented on a story featuring it, because I was so fed up w/the ignorance--the literally "not-knowing-ness" of those who just didn't get it:

For those of you "concerned" about this being a message geared towards ONLY African-American girls, I think you ought to see the backstory on why this song and video happened to begin with:
http://abcnews.go.com/WN/sesame-street-writer-inspired-daughter-creates-love-hair/story?id=11908940
For those of you that can't view that...Joey Mazzarino is a longtime Sesame Street writer, and he and his wife adopted a girl from Ethiopia. And like many of us girls with Afro-textured hair, she was bombarded w/images of Barbie and women with straight hair, which in this society, is deemed the beauty standard. She wondered why her hair wasn't straight, and she wanted hair like that to the point her father decided to make something for her to show her that her hair is beautiful the way it is. And it worked, according to him. She no longer feels that way. So, technically, YES--it WAS made for someone w/ Afro-textured hair, but ended up being a universal message for ANYONE WHO CAN IDENTIFY WITH IT. I think many of us would agree that if this segment had been around when we were in our formative years, we would have accepted our hair as is and learned to love it...like Joey's daughter.
For God's sake, stop getting all hung up on who it's aimed at and accept the message? Please?

Even after writing that, people still were bent on "it shouldn't be limited to black girls--it should be for everyone!" Whatever! What I said above is how I really feel on the subject. Yes, it was made for someone with Afro-textured hair. SFW?! If you can identify w/the message because you have bad unruly kinky hair, is it really such a big deal to you that it wasn't a little Latina/Jewish/Caucasian Muppet singing the damned song?
The only reason why it was a (presumably) African-American Muppet is because Joey's daughter needed someone who looked like her that she could identify with. Gawd. Get OVER it.
The ultimate message is: LOVE WHO THE HELL YOU ARE. Hair and all. Take it, drink it in, use it, and have a nice frosty bowl of STFU. Quityerbxtchin.



And in case you're wondering...yup--I have hair under my synthlox. And it is natural. Why the synthlox, you ask? I like them...end of story. I love that I can make my hair just about any colour--and I like my wild colours....I can do this w/o damaging it. I'm always changing it because I get bored easily. For some reason, I feel really at home in the synthlox. I get laughed at-- I got laughed at before by people when I wanted to install them ten years ago, only to see the same people go and get loc extensions themselves. It's okay, though. I don't wear them for anyone but myself.
Right now, I'm into this look... and growing my natural hair--which is to my shoulders when pulled taut--out underneath. Maybe someday I'll run around w/it permanently. Maybe I'll put a texturiser through it (it really hurts to comb my hair sometimes, LOL, and I can get it to still look Afro while making it easier on my comb). Who knows? Who cares? It's my freakin' hair...and I do love it.

Shoulda Done This Sooner!

Been a bit busy/preoccupied yawl. Sorry.
Anyway, the Newark Pride thingy went well, I think, if but for a few minor glitches. I had a good time. Had a little ring rust, and my obvious (well to me, anyway!) precious cargo made things a bit difficult, but, I got thru it. Plan to do more shows....wanna thank my sister Penny for encouraging me to do it in the first place.
Here's the video:

GATA @ Newark-Essex Pride Jam--UPDATED

Come join GATA and other area artists at the Newark-Essex Pride Jam in the Park!
Washington Park in Downtown Newark, NJ--come out and support if you're in the area!
Go time for GATA is 5:20 PM!

Hey, GNOtaku, welcome to my new site!! I wanted to give the whole thing a much-needed makeover and had been busier than a one-armed paperhanger setting it up...now it's finally done!
A few things are different: I didn't add the Litterbox this time, because a) people didn't know how to use the damned thing and b) why invite hate on purpose? Maybe later... when I get someone else to read my mail for me. I liked to have warning that I was getting some "jealous hater nonsense", but I see that haters will post shxt anywhere on the site they can, so oh well. That's what mail philtres are for!
The Gore Goddyss™ page will eventually lead to a whole other site that's in the worx. There'll be a gallery there, as well as stuff geared towards my scarier side.
So...have a whirl around the site, if you'd like to exchange banners, shoot us an email from the contact page!

Her Morbid Meowness
ThaGataNegrra
La GATA Verdadera Y Original